We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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