Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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