The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
