I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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