last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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