at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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