You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
