I faked an abortion last night.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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