Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
