Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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