My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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