I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Who died my cat blue again?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
