a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
