Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
