Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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