it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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