you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
