Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
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