ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
