I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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