I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
