if you like me you must not know who I am
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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