I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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