doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
