If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
