Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
