WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
