I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
