i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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