it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
