So gin and wine won't be happening again
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
