office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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