I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
