apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
