I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
