Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize