Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
