Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ketchup is God's man juice
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
