Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
