You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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