I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
