I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
