walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
