rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
