Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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