there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
