Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
