maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
