Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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