I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
